Me and Laura Marling: A Difficult Relationship
Q: Hi Jenni. How do you feel about Laura Marling?
A: Hi, thanks for asking. I like Laura Marling but I also hate her.
1. She released her first (AND, I SHALL ARGUE, BEST) album at 17, full of songs about loves won and lost, and desire, and boys, and men, and feelings, and opinions, expressed so eloquently as if she’d lived a hundred lives, or at least, could write as if she had. At 17 I was doing well at my exams and learning to drive, and applying to UCAS, and working at Sainsbury’s. It’s like she came from another world, and I found that both alienating and attractive. She just seems so in control, and calm, and she seems to know herself so entirely. And she’s still only 21. I’m 26 and I still am not 100% clear on how gas and electricity bills work. She makes me feel like I’d fidget nervously around her and touch my hair a lot. Not her intention, I’m sure. (But is it though?)
2. Watch this video. She’s barely even trying and she is completely perfect. She barely has to open her mouth and a perfect voice comes out. This is very annoying for someone who spent a lot of time in madrigal group at school being taught to E-NOUN-CEE-ATE everything vowel and consonant, and that if you couldn’t fit three fingers in your month when singing the loud bits you weren’t doing it right. Different worlds.
3. Watch that video again. Everything she does seems like a massive fuck-you for even bothering to watch this video. ‘This is a song I wrote … it’s the last song I wrote for the album … it’s the name of the album … it’s in the key of D.’ Want to tell us anything else, Laura? What it’s about? How you thought of it? Do you like the chords in it? No? Gr6. But then she starts playing and you love her again. She is very wise, and would be a good weapon in a war for disarming people.
3. She seems completely joyless and serious. Most of the people I like because I have a girl crush on them and like to imagine going to Topshop with them. What the hell would you talk to Laura Marling about? Today I saw a black banana peel on the ground and I thought it was a bat. I cannot imagine telling this to Laura Marling. She’s the sort of girl who I’d make a stupid joke around, and she’d be like ‘I don’t get it’ and I’d try and explain it, and she’d kind of half laugh falsely and I’d die. Watch this interview. Now I will CONCEDE that the interviewer is an idiot, and ‘RIP IT UP TV’ is a loathesome name, but, really, the guy is just trying to do his job and she’s just being a total fucking bitch to him and it’s way mean. I appreciate that some people are more comfortable talking about themselves that others (ie, me, available for radio, TV and print interviews in your area now), and yes, she does it so beautifully in her songs, but she has fans who want to find out more about her who seek this stuff out - and she just seems horrible. It makes me feel let down by her. I want the people I admire to be happy, and joyful about what they’re doing, and pleased to be so privileged and just more aware that not everyone lives a life where they can make the art they want, regardless of how talented they are.
Q: Thanks Jenni, have a great day.
A: I will, you too. Take this apple with you. It’s yours.
Emily’s thoughts:
You put 3. twice, but I wanted to keep it because you could kind of tell that you got angry all of a sudden and dismissed the correct sequence of numbers. I don’t like Laura Marling, I think she’s too twee and yet, simultaneously blaaaaaaaaaah. I also didn’t know you worked in Sains. One summer I had a job in an airing cupboard, stuffing envelopes.
I love Young Adult and teen novels. Or, more specifically, YA and teen novels with heart, and intelligence and spark. Lazy books about boys and/or parents being SO EMBARRASSING SHUTUPMUM!!! do not make that cut.
I found out about http://www.foreveryoungadult.com/ when I was doing some research recently, and consequently heard about The Hunger Games for the first time, approximately two years after it was released BUT at a time when Jennifer Lawrence was signed up to take the lead role in the film adaptation, so many would argue that this was the BEST TIME to have found out about it, and I will argue with you about that until I’m bored. Check out images released from Den of Geek here - Jennifer Lawrence looks amaze (my fringe would be screwed by now in the battle arena).
Interestingly, had the series not been so highly recommended there’s no way I’d have picked them up in a bookstore. The UK covers bear far too much resemblance to the Stormbreaker books and are they trying to riff on the Harry Potter logo? Do you want me to draw a picture for the front cover? I’ve already done it for my own copy, you are welcome to buy my designs.
Also if you’re not making your own personal book jackets for your library then you’re not enjoying the full reading experience.
The lead character is Katniss Everdeen (a brilliant, strong, kickass female hero - so why can’t the books covers reflect that?) who has to compete in The Hunger Games - a kill or be killed Battle Royale style fight featuring 24 teenage contestants from a dystopia city that rose from the post apolocalpyic ruins of North America.
Unlike the passive and endless adolescent bullshit we’ve had to endure from Twilight (and constant and unrelenting reference to Bella Swan wearing ‘sweats’ - can someone get me a count on how many times they are referenced over the trilogy?) - here is a heroine who named after a potato. And man, does she wear that fact like a MEDAL. We can learn a lot from this girl - but mostly archery and survival skills.
From page 1 you’re in the hands of someone just knows that they’re doing. The tension is relentless, to the extent that I was gasping so theatrically when reading it I realised that if I ever need to act gaspy in a feature film I will use the memory of reading this book to make my performance extra fierce.
I’m telling you this because a) I think you’d enjoy this book b) I want to discuss this book with someone c) I think it’s important you enjoy this book before the film comes out (I’m not being precious, it’s just SUPER) and d) you can pretty much get all three books in the series for about £10 on Amazon at the moment and that’s a good deal.
At a time when it feels like society is breaking down it’s important you read more teenage dystopian fiction so you can learn how to be plucky, and also so you know that you can probably get a boyfriend out of most situations.
Emily’s Thought(s)
While I disagree with the majority of this.. I’ve currently been working as a designer, and the most recent project is a ‘(make way for) Noddy’ audiobook. This is about as close to what Jenni is talking about as I can get. This isn’t even about Jenni or her brilliant blog work anymore, it’s about me being exhausted but happy.. So.
NO WAIT - I thought of something.. I’m having to do some work on short story covers and I did one with inky splash marks! So.. Like.. There we go. The circle of life.
Also, Hunger Games sounds like it’s probably about Vampires again.
Also, I don’t want to discuss this at all.
Hi. Welcome to a new section based around a discussion of fun facts about me and my life.
1. I DON’T LOOK GOOD AT HOME
When I was little (about two years ago) I watched The OC. Mostly it mad me feel bad about myself, and Marissa was really annoying and kept going to Mexico to overdose. So obviously I loved it.
This is what The OC taught me:
- The theme was possibly the worst piece of music ever written
- No one would have let Marissa go that long without slapping her
- Fucking ‘Chrismukkah’
- If your name is ‘Kirsten’ but you need it sound privileged and wealthy, simply ask people to call you ‘Kiiieeeeeersten’
But what I mostly took from it was equally as important to dress well at home, as it was at school, and society events. Marissa and Summer ALWAYS looked caj and perfect at home. They’d be dressed in jeans, a ‘baby tee’ (kill myself) and just the right amount of Benetint and High Beam in case Seth or Ryan came over in their Land Rovers. It didn’t matter that their hair was down and in their eyes, because all they had planned was looking at magazines or thinking about their lives for a bit.
Just look at that picture of Marissa and Summer - they’re just hanging out, the only thing on Summer’s schedj is to plait that bit of hair, whereas Marissa’s probably just wondering whether or not to drown herself in her pool that day. But they’ve both chosen cute summer tops and jeans - look how nice they look in case their deliquent/Jewish boyfriends come and see them!
I too have my own hometime style: it’s a special look in which you need to look as bad as you physically can and enjoy your natural state.
You will need:
- tracksuit bottoms (ideally from Primark, washed a couple of times so they’re now slightly too short in the leg), no bra, stained t-shirt, oversized hoodie/cardigan.
- Hair should be scraped up into a top bun, ideally at that slightly greasy stage so that when you take it down you get the hair doesn’t move and you get a slight headache.
- Make up should be ‘worn in’ (if it helps, imagine a make up artist on an advert describing a model’s make up as ‘worn in’ - you like it now, don’t you? Nice one, Fickle Susan.)
After watching The OC I did go through a stage of purposefully trying to style myself casual at home. I’d pick out a relaxed, yet stylish outfit and do my hair and make up (relaxed, yet stylish). This lasted fifteen minutes because I got bored and my jeans were digging in when I tried to watch Rich Girls.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love nice clothes and nice hair and nice make up (you guys remember Gr7 fav Jenni4FashionNews, right?) but there’s a time and a place, and home is not that place. No one is coming to see you (I find it helps if you refuse to give out your address), no one is judging you, home is your safeplace, relax - no, relax properly, put that ‘baby tee’ down. Jesus.
Going from looking your worst to your best also helps you have your very own Princess Diaries makeover moment, should you decide to leave the house of your own volition, or following an intervention from your loved ones.
Just a warning in case some of you ever come round to mine for cocktails and cupcakes!
(Not really. I don’t do that.)
