Hi. Welcome to a new section based around a discussion of fun facts about me and my life.

1. I DON’T LOOK GOOD AT HOME

When I was little (about two years ago) I watched The OC. Mostly it mad me feel bad about myself, and Marissa was really annoying and kept going to Mexico to overdose. So obviously I loved it.

This is what The OC taught me:

• The theme was possibly the worst piece of music ever written
• No one would have let Marissa go that long without slapping her
• Fucking ‘Chrismukkah’
• If your name is ‘Kirsten’ but you need it sound privileged and wealthy, simply ask people to call you ‘Kiiieeeeeersten’

But what I mostly took from it was equally as important to dress well at home, as it was at school, and society events. Marissa and Summer ALWAYS looked caj and perfect at home. They’d be dressed in jeans, a ‘baby tee’ (kill myself) and just the right amount of Benetint and High Beam in case Seth or Ryan came over in their Land Rovers. It didn’t matter that their hair was down and in their eyes, because all they had planned was looking at magazines or thinking about their lives for a bit.

Just look at that picture of Marissa and Summer - they’re just hanging out, the only thing on Summer’s schedj is to plait that bit of hair, whereas Marissa’s probably just wondering whether or not to drown herself in her pool that day. But they’ve both chosen cute summer tops and jeans - look how nice they look in case their deliquent/Jewish boyfriends come and see them!

I too have my own hometime style: it’s a special look in which you need to look as bad as you physically can and enjoy your natural state.

You will need:

• tracksuit bottoms (ideally from Primark, washed a couple of times so they’re now slightly too short in the leg), no bra, stained t-shirt, oversized hoodie/cardigan.
• Hair should be scraped up into a top bun, ideally at that slightly greasy stage so that when you take it down you get the hair doesn’t move and you get a slight headache.
•  Make up should be ‘worn in’ (if it helps, imagine a make up artist on an advert describing a model’s make up as ‘worn in’ - you like it now, don’t you? Nice one, Fickle Susan.)

After watching The OC I did go through a stage of purposefully trying to style myself casual at home. I’d pick out a relaxed, yet stylish outfit and do my hair and make up (relaxed, yet stylish). This lasted fifteen minutes because I got bored and my jeans were digging in when I tried to watch Rich Girls.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love nice clothes and nice hair and nice make up (you guys remember Gr7 fav Jenni4FashionNews, right?) but there’s a time and a place, and home is not that place. No one is coming to see you (I find it helps if you refuse to give out your address), no one is judging you, home is your safeplace, relax - no, relax properly, put that ‘baby tee’ down. Jesus.

Going from looking your worst to your best also helps you have your very own Princess Diaries makeover moment, should you decide to leave the house of your own volition, or following an intervention from your loved ones.

Just a warning in case some of you ever come round to mine for cocktails and cupcakes!

(Not really. I don’t do that.)