I love Young Adult and teen novels. Or, more specifically, YA and teen novels with heart, and intelligence and spark. Lazy books about boys and/or parents being SO EMBARRASSING SHUTUPMUM!!! do not make that cut.

I found out about http://www.foreveryoungadult.com/ when I was doing some research recently, and consequently heard about The Hunger Games for the first time, approximately two years after it was released BUT at a time when Jennifer Lawrence was signed up to take the lead role in the film adaptation, so many would argue that this was the BEST TIME to have found out about it, and I will argue with you about that until I’m bored. Check out images released from Den of Geek here - Jennifer Lawrence looks amaze (my fringe would be screwed by now in the battle arena).

Interestingly, had the series not been so highly recommended there’s no way I’d have picked them up in a bookstore. The UK covers bear far too much resemblance to the Stormbreaker books  and are they trying to riff on the Harry Potter logo? Do you want me to draw a picture for the front cover? I’ve already done it for my own copy, you are welcome to buy my designs.

Also if you’re not making your own personal book jackets for your library then you’re not enjoying the full reading experience.

The lead character is Katniss Everdeen (a brilliant, strong, kickass female hero - so why can’t the books covers reflect that?) who has to compete in The Hunger Games - a kill or be killed Battle Royale style fight featuring 24 teenage contestants from a dystopia city that rose from the post apolocalpyic ruins of North America.

Unlike the passive and endless adolescent bullshit we’ve had to endure from Twilight (and constant and unrelenting reference to Bella Swan wearing ‘sweats’ - can someone get me a count on how many times they are referenced over the trilogy?) - here is a heroine who named after a potato. And man, does she wear that fact like a MEDAL. We can learn a lot from this girl - but mostly archery and survival skills.

From page 1 you’re in the hands of someone just knows that they’re doing. The tension is relentless, to the extent that I was gasping so theatrically when reading it I realised that if I ever need to act gaspy in a feature film I will use the memory of reading this book to make my performance extra fierce.

I’m telling you this because a) I think you’d enjoy this book b) I want to discuss this book with someone c) I think it’s important you enjoy this book before the film comes out (I’m not being precious, it’s just SUPER) and d) you can pretty much get all three books in the series for about £10 on Amazon at the moment and that’s a good deal.

At a time when it feels like society is breaking down it’s important you read more teenage dystopian fiction so you can learn how to be plucky, and also so you know that you can probably get a boyfriend out of most situations.

Emily’s Thought(s)

While I disagree with the majority of this.. I’ve currently been working as a designer, and the most recent project is a ‘(make way for) Noddy’ audiobook. This is about as close to what Jenni is talking about as I can get. This isn’t even about Jenni or her brilliant blog work anymore, it’s about me being exhausted but happy.. So.

NO WAIT - I thought of something.. I’m having to do some work on short story covers and I did one with inky splash marks! So.. Like.. There we go. The circle of life.

Also, Hunger Games sounds like it’s probably about Vampires again.

Also, I don’t want to discuss this at all.

Hi. Welcome to a new section based around a discussion of fun facts about me and my life.

1. I DON’T LOOK GOOD AT HOME

When I was little (about two years ago) I watched The OC. Mostly it mad me feel bad about myself, and Marissa was really annoying and kept going to Mexico to overdose. So obviously I loved it.

This is what The OC taught me:

• The theme was possibly the worst piece of music ever written
• No one would have let Marissa go that long without slapping her
• Fucking ‘Chrismukkah’
• If your name is ‘Kirsten’ but you need it sound privileged and wealthy, simply ask people to call you ‘Kiiieeeeeersten’

But what I mostly took from it was equally as important to dress well at home, as it was at school, and society events. Marissa and Summer ALWAYS looked caj and perfect at home. They’d be dressed in jeans, a ‘baby tee’ (kill myself) and just the right amount of Benetint and High Beam in case Seth or Ryan came over in their Land Rovers. It didn’t matter that their hair was down and in their eyes, because all they had planned was looking at magazines or thinking about their lives for a bit.

Just look at that picture of Marissa and Summer - they’re just hanging out, the only thing on Summer’s schedj is to plait that bit of hair, whereas Marissa’s probably just wondering whether or not to drown herself in her pool that day. But they’ve both chosen cute summer tops and jeans - look how nice they look in case their deliquent/Jewish boyfriends come and see them!

I too have my own hometime style: it’s a special look in which you need to look as bad as you physically can and enjoy your natural state.

You will need:

• tracksuit bottoms (ideally from Primark, washed a couple of times so they’re now slightly too short in the leg), no bra, stained t-shirt, oversized hoodie/cardigan.
• Hair should be scraped up into a top bun, ideally at that slightly greasy stage so that when you take it down you get the hair doesn’t move and you get a slight headache.
•  Make up should be ‘worn in’ (if it helps, imagine a make up artist on an advert describing a model’s make up as ‘worn in’ - you like it now, don’t you? Nice one, Fickle Susan.)

After watching The OC I did go through a stage of purposefully trying to style myself casual at home. I’d pick out a relaxed, yet stylish outfit and do my hair and make up (relaxed, yet stylish). This lasted fifteen minutes because I got bored and my jeans were digging in when I tried to watch Rich Girls.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love nice clothes and nice hair and nice make up (you guys remember Gr7 fav Jenni4FashionNews, right?) but there’s a time and a place, and home is not that place. No one is coming to see you (I find it helps if you refuse to give out your address), no one is judging you, home is your safeplace, relax - no, relax properly, put that ‘baby tee’ down. Jesus.

Going from looking your worst to your best also helps you have your very own Princess Diaries makeover moment, should you decide to leave the house of your own volition, or following an intervention from your loved ones.

Just a warning in case some of you ever come round to mine for cocktails and cupcakes!

(Not really. I don’t do that.)

Hey girls, James Franco’s an American actor born 19th April, 1978, right? But he’s way out of your league, right? Plus he’s an American actor in America and you can’t afford those kind of flights, and you won’t let him pay for you because hell, women did not throw themselves under horses for you to allow James Franco to pay for your airfares. Get some self-respect. But don’t worry, you can spend time thinking about things you’d like to do to/with/around/near James Franco and how they’d all pan out really well.

Feel free to put your own human person of your choice into the scenario - it’s basically a person you’d like to spend time with, who isn’t the television.

1) Make a pasta bake

We believe James Franco is of Italian descent (because where would we be without general stereotyping?), so he’d probably be completely happy with our choice of pasta, or be completely insulted - either way, lets face it, James Franco has some kind of emotion towards you. It’s also the easiest to make, and one of our personal faves as two incapable, lazy, kitchen-ugly gals. Most people enjoy pasta bakes, and why would James Franco be any different? It’s not a problem that Googling ‘James Franco pasta bake’ neither confirms or denies this. Be confident otherwise he’ll sense your fear, and won’t be as effusive as you were hoping re: the pasta bake. Have flashcards ready if you feel he needs prompting: ‘Thanks for this pasta bake’ or ‘I like pasta bake as much as most people’ are great ways to open up a dialogue.

2) Go to Sainsbury’s

Food shopping is hard. Sometimes they’ve moved the butter, and it’s too hot, and you’re a bit weepy, and you need to buy something for dinner but you’ve already had pasta bake for tea and lunch and society dictates having more than one pasta tea a week is illegal. This is a good time for James Franco to take over, use the Jamie Oliver app and sort out the shopping. He’s also really good at the self-service machine, but can be a bit control freaky about it, so you press some buttons, and weigh your hand as ‘apples, loose’ to see how much it costs in ‘apples, loose’ and he kind of gets it, but really doesn’t, cos this is kind of a ‘thing’ for him. Bring your own bags in order to save 5p.

3) Show him my old school reports (Jenni)

School was a really good time for me - especially because I knew all the answers and could put my arm up really fast (arm = possible link to 127 Hours? ‘Hey James, I enjoyed your performance in 127 Hours, let’s read my school reports which I store on this coffee table.’) Reading these reports together will give him an insight into your childhood and how you weren’t bad at anything - he’ll respect you because he’s an overachiever too. NOTE : DO NOT LET HIM SHOW YOU HIS SCHOOL REPORTS - THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM. Stand your ground on this point.

4) Take him to work with you (Emily)

This is kind of akin to ‘Take you son/daughter to work day’ but you take James Franco instead, I’m pretty sure you’re bosses will be okay with it, after all, he was in Spider-man. If they get arsey, just say he’s your son from a previous marriage - you’d be surprised how little people care about anything you say with regard to your personal life.

5) Ask him to read all your books out loud and record them to potentially sell as audiobooks for when he flies back to LA and you’ve run out of the money you stole from his wallet.

This is kind of self-explanatory.

She’s All That: Where Are They Now?

She’s All That is famous for reminding people that the song ‘Kiss Me’ by Sixpence None The Richer exists, and that Freddie Prinze Jnr is actually an incredibly plain man (but his surname sounds like ‘Handsome Prince’ - which you totally fell for), but watching it now that ten years have lapsed since its release, it’s fun to spot all the actors you’d forgotten about and play WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

Freddie Prinze Jnr: Married to Sarah Michelle Geller, who apparently changed her name to Sarah Michelle Prinze for their 5th year of marriage. Great gift hon, couldn’t you just have got him Amazon vouchers? Freddie now works for World Wrestling Entertainment. The whole story makes me feel weird and melancholy.

Rachel Leigh Cook: Super hard to care.

Anna Paquin: Likes ‘make up’ and ‘boys’ in this role, and plucks Laney’s eyebrows to make her pretty. Many would argue that it is Sookeh herself that requires a make over in the movie, not Rachel Leigh Cook, amirite Bill Vampy?

Usher: Usher plays the school DJ. You know, the school DJ, like you had at school? The fulltime school DJ. The fulltime DJ you had in your school? That got paid more than the teachers. A man’s got to pay for his wife’s botched lipo somehow.

Dulé Hill: It is a horrid shock if you only watched The West Wing for the first time recently, then re-watched She’s All That to see Sad-Eyed Charlie in ‘The Sassy Black Guy’ role. If it helps, imagine this is where he went to high school before President Bartlet rescued him, cut his afro and put a suit on him.

Paul Walker: Mostly doing driving acting now. (NB. is never seen driving a car in this movie)

Other fun appearances include Milo Ventimiglia as a boy who kicks a football, and Sarah Michelle Geller-Prinze, who appears, uncredited, in the cafeteria (She’s All That was filmed at the same school as Buffy, so this was probably due less to altruism, and more to a fun scheduling mix-up.)

Cinemax Reports

Jenni and Emily both went to the cinema recently to see previews of upcoming films, because that’s the sort of lifestyle they’ve come to expect now. Their choices tell you a lot about their hopes, dreams and ambitions and their WLTM.

Jenni: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: Part 2

I recently rewatched Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 with friends, ahead of the release of the final film. Whenever anyone asked a question about anything, ‘Jenni why are you yelling?’, I’d reply with specific reference to a spell, chapter or character from the previous five books. Everyone found this helpful and illuminating, and were grateful they’d invited me.

In short, I’m taking Harry Potter seriously, and I’m taking your derision at that life decision seriously too, (Emily). Point in case, I accidentally typed ‘deathy’ hallows, and had a really stern talk with myself about being so flippant. I really don’t have a sense of humour about this.

So. ‘It all ends’, the posters tell us. Quite rightly too, for in the last five minutes everyone dies and then there are no wizards anymore. Ok. That’s Emily stopped reading - accio review. There might be some spoilers in here - but you’ve already read the books, right? Right.

The final film is two solid hours of unrelenting action, sad bit, action, funny bit, action, cool bit, action, NEVILLE LONGBOTTON (seriously, when did he become such a dreamboat badass?), action, end. For a series of films that sometimes felt like they’d lost their way, (get a GRIP, Ron Weasley) Deathly Hallows Part 2 is an entirely satisfying and spectacular final chapter.

From the opening set piece at Gringott’s (watch that dragon BREATHE when they escape), David Yates takes us on a tour of all the locations we’ve come to know and love over the years - then puts fire, and Death Eaters, and Dementors, and people dying in them. Take THAT, small children! This is for the adults now! This isn’t for you, EMMA WATSON HAS A PIXIE CUT NOW, YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND.

To say this is a rollercoaster of underground, goblin bank proportions (one for the fans) is an understatement. For a girl who normally loathes action sequences, it’s testament to the skill of the screenwriter, director, editor and the actors (yes, I enjoyed Radcliffe, Watson and Grint’s performances - let’s not discuss that old chestnut) that I was kept completely gripped throughout the incredible action scenes, and then emotionally manipulated to cry, and then laugh (often immediately after seeing a young Hogwarts pupil being savaged by a beast - yay!!).

We finally got the first kiss between Ron and Hermione - immediately after a frightening bit involving a basilisk tooth and some scary water that goes into the shape of Voldemort’s face. My one concern with this scene is that for impressionable girls (me) this may set the bar of the ideal first kiss too high to be realistically practicable, and may lead to disenchantment and a life led alone reading Harry Potter books with cats (sounds so nice!!!11!!!)

There’s just so much to enjoy and admire - the action is incredible, the funny scenes perfect in tone, the sad bits realised with subtlety and skill and Professor McGonagall is the sort of person you want available when selecting fire/ambulance/police/magic. You have to go and see it at the cinema though. The 3D element I can take or leave, it doesn’t add much to proceedings, but this is a film to be seen on the big screen, with pic’n’mix with people who UNDERSTAND and who will clap when Mrs Weasley is amazing.

My only quibble is why, after about a decade, no one just went for it and told Voldemort to STFU. I’m looking forward to adding my own voice talents to this particular role (STFU GIRL WIZARD 1) when the DVD comes out. Someone tell IMDB. ***** Happy Potter.

Emily: TrollHunter (Trolljegeren)

If like me, the idea of sitting through another Potter film makes you make that face you make when you go back home to see your family and you find out your mum has cooked stew for dinner, then FEAR NOT.. I have done a terrible review for a good film, (jokes Jenni, you know how much I admire something that just never ends).

I hope you weren’t gunning for a delicious rom-com. Because you’re going to be severely disappointed, like the feeling you get while watching Daniel Radcliffe “act”. I, Emily, went to a screener of TrollHunter (Trolljegeren (pronounced troll-YAY-geren you idiot)) and it blew my tiny mind. TrollHunter is filmed as a documentary, some footage was found and they (analysts) can’t decide if it’s authentic or a joke. Cue the film; 3 students trying to interview an elusive bear poacher. However, much to our relief we learn that there is no bear poacher, just a man trying to maintain a shitload of trolls, (the bear poaching is a smoke screen, because can you imagine what would happen if the world found out Norway had trolls? Dread to think). So, Norway has trolls, woodland trolls and mountain trolls - keep up - and they need culling. The students are soon tagging along with the trollhunter, Hans, in his clawed up 4x4 in hope that one day, everyone will understand the burden of his thankless job.

Considering it’s made to appear hand-cam-esque and despite the terrible weather throughout (filmed in Vaatedalen “The Wet Valley”), it’s beautifully shot, displaying the epic routes of the northwest coast of Norway, through fjords and forests, it almost plays like a tourism video.. *narrows eyes suspiciously*. My only criticisms would be that as the trolls are nocturnal, and like Cloverfield, you only see them in the dark, which means the cgi effects, while really good, only tease you (although I have poor vision - so whether this has anything to do with it…), and the length, though constantly enjoyable, went on for quite a while, you also care very little for the students (possibly because their students, I don’t know?). Overall TrollHunter is wonderfully written, shot and acted (improv apparently - it’s all the rage these days), but the best bit, for me, was the humour. It was equally silly as it was dry, and that merged with the isolation and macabre fairytale darkness of it all, made it a fun, watchable piece of foreign Hollywood cinema.

And the best part about the whole film was that your kids will friggin’ love it - if your kids are awesome and can read, and have a sense of humour about religion.

2 Stars.. Just kidding 4 Stars!