Me and Laura Marling: A Difficult Relationship
Q: Hi Jenni. How do you feel about Laura Marling?
A: Hi, thanks for asking. I like Laura Marling but I also hate her.
1. She released her first (AND, I SHALL ARGUE, BEST) album at 17, full of songs about loves won and lost, and desire, and boys, and men, and feelings, and opinions, expressed so eloquently as if she’d lived a hundred lives, or at least, could write as if she had. At 17 I was doing well at my exams and learning to drive, and applying to UCAS, and working at Sainsbury’s. It’s like she came from another world, and I found that both alienating and attractive. She just seems so in control, and calm, and she seems to know herself so entirely. And she’s still only 21. I’m 26 and I still am not 100% clear on how gas and electricity bills work. She makes me feel like I’d fidget nervously around her and touch my hair a lot. Not her intention, I’m sure. (But is it though?)
2. Watch this video. She’s barely even trying and she is completely perfect. She barely has to open her mouth and a perfect voice comes out. This is very annoying for someone who spent a lot of time in madrigal group at school being taught to E-NOUN-CEE-ATE everything vowel and consonant, and that if you couldn’t fit three fingers in your month when singing the loud bits you weren’t doing it right. Different worlds.
3. Watch that video again. Everything she does seems like a massive fuck-you for even bothering to watch this video. ‘This is a song I wrote … it’s the last song I wrote for the album … it’s the name of the album … it’s in the key of D.’ Want to tell us anything else, Laura? What it’s about? How you thought of it? Do you like the chords in it? No? Gr6. But then she starts playing and you love her again. She is very wise, and would be a good weapon in a war for disarming people.
3. She seems completely joyless and serious. Most of the people I like because I have a girl crush on them and like to imagine going to Topshop with them. What the hell would you talk to Laura Marling about? Today I saw a black banana peel on the ground and I thought it was a bat. I cannot imagine telling this to Laura Marling. She’s the sort of girl who I’d make a stupid joke around, and she’d be like ‘I don’t get it’ and I’d try and explain it, and she’d kind of half laugh falsely and I’d die. Watch this interview. Now I will CONCEDE that the interviewer is an idiot, and ‘RIP IT UP TV’ is a loathesome name, but, really, the guy is just trying to do his job and she’s just being a total fucking bitch to him and it’s way mean. I appreciate that some people are more comfortable talking about themselves that others (ie, me, available for radio, TV and print interviews in your area now), and yes, she does it so beautifully in her songs, but she has fans who want to find out more about her who seek this stuff out - and she just seems horrible. It makes me feel let down by her. I want the people I admire to be happy, and joyful about what they’re doing, and pleased to be so privileged and just more aware that not everyone lives a life where they can make the art they want, regardless of how talented they are.
Q: Thanks Jenni, have a great day.
A: I will, you too. Take this apple with you. It’s yours.
You put 3. twice, but I wanted to keep it because you could kind of tell that you got angry all of a sudden and dismissed the correct sequence of numbers. I don’t like Laura Marling, I think she’s too twee and yet, simultaneously blaaaaaaaaaah. I also didn’t know you worked in Sains. One summer I had a job in an airing cupboard, stuffing envelopes.